Take that Nick Cave t-shirt off

I miss the 19yr old Lenore. It struck me the other day how aging and gathering physical content in ones life is very restricting. The responsibility that comes with striving for a comfortable lifestyle shackles one to a workforce, a house and a location. I am starting to feel the weight of this. It is not necessarily a bad thing but I notice it.

When I was 19 and I slowly but surely traded all my belongings at the Cash Convertors in Coolangatta to gain money for coffee and a camera, it did not occur to me to worry about keeping and hoarding my belongings. When it came time to leave that area - I sold or gave away all my furniture and started again in Sydney. And again when I decided to make the move to Melbourne. I packed what I could fit into the Sierra and everything else was sold or left. I felt free and able to make changes in my life that were substantial and fun.

What have I traded for that perceived freedom? I now have a nice place to stay that is full of all the necessary luxuries - ie big tv and media centre for all my entertainment needs, lots of single malts, a spare room for visitors, a beer fridge that is always full, 6 computers etc. I have a job that offers good money and security, a relationship that is just getting better as the years go by. And these are not bad things. Most people strive to have this.

Then why is it that I am dreaming of getting rid of it all (except GB of course) and taking to backpacking around the world for a couple of years? Is it a midlife crisis? Is it because I feel the tick-tocking of my biological clock?

I am restless.