It is done.

Today has been the worst day in my own head in a very long time. It has been exactly 4 days of feeling great. Now I am back to being very unhappy. With everything.

They say that when you are in an heightened emotional state, it is not the time for making big decisions. That it is emotionally immature to do that.

But I say poo to that. I am going to make a couple. Actually I have already had these decisions going on in my head for a very long time. I think I am now just brave enough to say it.

I am going back to Spain. But I am going to learn Spanish properly before I do. And that is all I am going to concentrate on this year.

I really thought I would have had a dog to look after, a house to save for and an engagement party to plan. But it appears those things are not happening. So I am making a promise to myself right here and now that this year is for me and me alone.

I will strive in my health goals, money and education. I will not let anyone distract me with bullshit and empty time wasting.

I am 35 yrs old. I don't want to wait for anything anymore. I have waited long enough. Now I am just going to make things happen for me. No more procrastinating, living in my comfort zone.

Yes. This type of resolve makes me feel better. I feel like I can breathe again. I actually feel excited.